Recommendations are one of the deepest forms of connection we have. And I’m not talking about your response to the question, “watching anything good? Reading anything interesting?”
No, I mean the kind you go out of your way to talk to people about. The kind so important you feel like you’ll die if you don’t share them. I can’t explain the desperation I felt recommending Severance when it first came out. Like this deep need for someone else to see what I saw. Putting my reputation on the line by saying, yes I’m willing to bet you’ll be better off by spending a huge chunk of your time on this thing.
It became my entire personality.
To be so passionate about a story that has nothing to do with you, but still you get on your knees and pitch it to your friends, your co-workers, your mother. It’s beautiful.
When we recommend something so desperately, we’re asking someone to see and understand something in ourselves and say, this is how it makes me feel, do you feel it too? And the possibility that the thing also resonates deeply with them means you’re connected in some deeper, unspoken way, like reaching another dimension.
This is ultimately the reason I love to write. I hope that somewhere, something I share—an idea, a recommendation, or even a single sentence—will reach you through the noise, and hit you in a tender spot that both improves your life and compels you to share that sentiment in your own way with someone else.
So these are my three recommendations.
The most recent in my mind—one read, one watch, one listen. They might change your life or they might not, but they have certainly made me love deeper, laugh harder, and think differently about the human experience. That is what I wish to recommend.
Ok here I go.
Rec 1, Read: All Fours, by Miranda July
I ordered this book because Jenny Slate, Kate Berlant, and Jaqueline Novak, aka my holy trinity, told me to. These are people I will jump for recommendations from because I trust their taste so completely that I'll happily buy or do anything they buy or do and know I'll be happier for it. It's good to have people like this in your life.
When I started reading All Fours, I became possessed.
I put my life on pause to read this book.
I started recommending it right away in hopes someone else would start it before I finished.
I read in the morning with my coffee and savored it at night with my tea. I even took a week’s break when I was half way done because I didn’t want it to end. Everything about it– the writing style, the way she communicates longing and meaning and sex. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a woman written about in such a way.
This one is for you if you are an artist. And/or feel like you are in or around a quarter-life, mid-life, or existential crisis. Any kind of crisis might do actually.
Rec 2, Watch: Now More Than Ever, John Early’s special on MAX
This comedy special was recommended by my friend Bradley who, to me, has one of the most divine senses of humor on earth.
I knew I would love it, but I didn’t know I didn’t know it would be like this.
In the middle of watching, I cackled myself to tears suddenly very aware of the reality that I hadn’t laughed like that in a very very long time. If I could wish anything for you, and for me, it is to laugh like that as often as possible.
It is not easy to access, but there is no better feeling on earth. This one is for you if you love an alt-brooklyn-weird energy, or if you want to see a great bit on bowling.
Rec 3, Listen: Wild Card, the new NPR podcast with Rachel Martin
I found this rec through a slack community and it was just lucky timing that I saw it on the day that I did. These 30 minute episodes are really fucking good. It is real and vulnerable and inspiring and tightly edited into bite sized sections. Plus the questions are all exceptionally writing prompts.
I’ve really loved every episode but if I was forced to choose a favorite, I’d choose Ada Limón’s. The whole episode feels sacred in a way, but if you only have three minutes you can listen to 26:00-29:00.
This may be for you if you’re a thoughtful little person. Or if you like to be inspired to take action by a great question or a beautiful memory.
There is nothing quite like being taken by something you read or watch or listen to.
In the beginning it has nothing to do with you, just something that someone else made– there for you to take or leave. But then, somehow, it has everything to do with you because it tugs at a piece of yourself you cannot communicate on your own.
Because in the end, you’re not just sharing the thing, you’re sharing the experience of the thing, fighting the odds, desperate for it to resonate for them the way it did for you.
One more thing.
It is a very good omen to reach out to people who have made things you love, especially authors. To let them know that what they wrote was not only interesting enough to capture your attention amidst all this noise, but that it actually shifted something in you– something strong enough to make you want to recommend it with such fervor.
So if you’d like to be intimate, you may peek inside my inbox and see my reach out process and actual email I sent to Miranda July, author of All Fours.