"Or the one time I interviewed with a VC for 6 weeks, made it to the final round and they never emailed me back… I will not name them but I want to." omg this is HEINOUS!
For me, I don't reach out because I don't have an ask. The impetus for me *wanting* to reach out is just to say, "hey, I really liked this thing you said/did/made and can't explain this feeling that you're cool and we'd get along."
100% agree. Asking is great when you have something to ask but not asking shouldn't be the reason not to reach out. Probably 75% of my reach outs are ask-less and sometimes they lead to the best connections.
I loved your article! sorry this is probably a stupid question, but in cases where I've done this without having an ask in mind, I've never known how to keep the conversation going without some sort of goal in mind. do you have any advice on that?
Ty Brittney! Not a stupid question at all. Sometimes it's okay not to keep conversation going. Sometimes it's just nice to reach out to plant the seed for your future self. When you're reaching out without a specific goal, you can aim to connect with people you just think are really cool. Like, who is really good at the hobby you're getting into? Who seems like they are super happy? Who works at a company you're obsessed with? By paying attention to who you're curious about you might find actually find a goal. Lmk if that makes sense.
This is so true: ‘Dream jobs and careers, deep romances and friendships, great ideas and stories, all started with one person bold and curious enough to reach out to another.’ We just need to take time and courage to do it. And if it helps to drown out that noise about 30 being too old and needing to look younger: I shoot for ageless. If they can’t tell how old I am, I’m happy. That’s feasible for a long time; being forever 25 isn’t.
Great reminder to not hide away all the time. I find particularly postpartum, it's so easy to go into the baby bubble and not emerge. Thanks for the gentle reminder.
Oh I absolutely feel this. I feel like at 6 months pp I'm just coming out of my shell again to be ready to interact with the world again. So hard in the moment but also I think that time in the baby bubble really prepared me to come out of it? Like being isolated has its perks too? Do you feel the same?
Absolutely. It's a kind of magical time when everything feels so meaningful even though it's so small if that makes sense? It's such a special time. I know it sounds cliché but I am really so happy that I have been able to really spend lot of time with my baby in the early months.
So inspiring and could not relate more! Just subscribed to your newsletter.
Dream jobs and careers, deep romances and friendships, great ideas and stories, all started with one person bold and curious enough to reach out to another - LITERALLY putting that on a post-it at my desk so I don't forget.
No it's literally insane how many times I need to repeat that to myself. Sometimes it really is the most obvious and simple truths that get us to do the important thing. You're making me want to sticky note it too so thank you for this idea.
This whole thing is such a generous reminder. Thank you for being so honest about the fear and awkwardness of reaching out. It makes the whole idea feel less intimidating.
"Or the one time I interviewed with a VC for 6 weeks, made it to the final round and they never emailed me back… I will not name them but I want to." omg this is HEINOUS!
Showed me everything I needed to know about them but truuuuly heinous.
For me, I don't reach out because I don't have an ask. The impetus for me *wanting* to reach out is just to say, "hey, I really liked this thing you said/did/made and can't explain this feeling that you're cool and we'd get along."
100% agree. Asking is great when you have something to ask but not asking shouldn't be the reason not to reach out. Probably 75% of my reach outs are ask-less and sometimes they lead to the best connections.
I loved your article! sorry this is probably a stupid question, but in cases where I've done this without having an ask in mind, I've never known how to keep the conversation going without some sort of goal in mind. do you have any advice on that?
Ty Brittney! Not a stupid question at all. Sometimes it's okay not to keep conversation going. Sometimes it's just nice to reach out to plant the seed for your future self. When you're reaching out without a specific goal, you can aim to connect with people you just think are really cool. Like, who is really good at the hobby you're getting into? Who seems like they are super happy? Who works at a company you're obsessed with? By paying attention to who you're curious about you might find actually find a goal. Lmk if that makes sense.
This is so true: ‘Dream jobs and careers, deep romances and friendships, great ideas and stories, all started with one person bold and curious enough to reach out to another.’ We just need to take time and courage to do it. And if it helps to drown out that noise about 30 being too old and needing to look younger: I shoot for ageless. If they can’t tell how old I am, I’m happy. That’s feasible for a long time; being forever 25 isn’t.
Thank you Stephanie I totally agree. Ageless is a great way to think about it... makes connections so meaningful at every stage.
Just don't say "can I pick your brain" please
That would be sinful
or....." Do you have a minute?"
Great reminder to not hide away all the time. I find particularly postpartum, it's so easy to go into the baby bubble and not emerge. Thanks for the gentle reminder.
Feel this even 2 years post partum - I call it hermit phase 🐚
Oh I absolutely feel this. I feel like at 6 months pp I'm just coming out of my shell again to be ready to interact with the world again. So hard in the moment but also I think that time in the baby bubble really prepared me to come out of it? Like being isolated has its perks too? Do you feel the same?
Absolutely. It's a kind of magical time when everything feels so meaningful even though it's so small if that makes sense? It's such a special time. I know it sounds cliché but I am really so happy that I have been able to really spend lot of time with my baby in the early months.
Holy crap this piece is amazing.
CHRIS thank you 🥹
So inspiring and could not relate more! Just subscribed to your newsletter.
Dream jobs and careers, deep romances and friendships, great ideas and stories, all started with one person bold and curious enough to reach out to another - LITERALLY putting that on a post-it at my desk so I don't forget.
No it's literally insane how many times I need to repeat that to myself. Sometimes it really is the most obvious and simple truths that get us to do the important thing. You're making me want to sticky note it too so thank you for this idea.
This whole thing is such a generous reminder. Thank you for being so honest about the fear and awkwardness of reaching out. It makes the whole idea feel less intimidating.
Thank you so much Shellie that was my exact intention and it's really so nice to see it reflected back in this way. I really appreciate it
fastest subscribe I have done in a while
Omg whoa this is a really nice compliment. Wont let you down!
Ok this was truly moving
Thank you 🥹
This was SO GOOD 🖤
Thank you Claire!!! You are the best best best
Time to catch up soon 🖤
luck is a skill
Believe!!!
BELIEVE NEBINSKI !!
Love the NYC serendipity and what a lovely email!
30 is very young
Extremely ❤️❤️
Love this so much!
thank you!