I know that what a good conversation really provides is the disappearance of the overwhelming reality that is the march of time. Sometimes to get there all it takes is a really thoughtful question.
I know that conviction is an insanely attractive quality– both personally and professionally. It is beautiful to be around someone on a mission. It is even more beautiful to have a mission yourself. Spending the time figuring out what you really want, even when it’s painful, is always a good use of your time. Once you know for sure, the path becomes considerably clearer and easier.
I know that a good thermos is just as valuable, if not more, in the summer as it is in the winter. Cold water sliding down your gullet on a hot day when you need it most is one of the greatest reliefs life can offer.
I know that the opportunity to be truly surprised in a good way is really rare and absolutely unforgettable. If you have the chance to plan a surprise for someone, take it extremely seriously.
Related to #2, I also know that it is impossible to get what you want when you don’t know what you want. I’ve made the mistake of brushing this feeling off and call it an existential crisis, but I think that sells the feeling short. To get out of the rut, the thing to do is be very honest and ask for help… Also read a good fiction book.
recently recommended Margos Got Money Troubles, which looks fantastic.Something I really know is how to smell and feel for a good peach. It is slightly soft to the touch and when you press into it it might leave a little indent, similar to the way a stress ball or memory foam does. A ripe peach also smells very sweet and almost almondy, especially close to the stem. If you can smell it before pressing your nostrils against it, it’s a good sign.
I’ve sent hundreds of emails to strangers. I know a lot about sending a good cold email. But one specific thing is that it doesn’t have a lot of fluff… get rid of the ‘hope you’re well’ type of stuff.
Ok fine one more thing I know about a good cold email is that you should always include a compliment– one that is specific and unique. Don’t say ‘I love your work’ or ‘I’m a fan,’ say ‘I love X because of Y. It made me feel/do/think Z.’ A good cold email should feel vulnerable and earnest, both to you the writer and to the reader. It should acknowledge the nerves you have, if you have them. It should be bold… because the truth is there is just a limited time on this earth and you really just have to get over yourself and not worry so much about being so embarrassed to reach out to a stranger. You cannot imagine what interesting or awesome things could happen if you do.
I know a lot about rejection. As an actor, I’ve gotten rejected–sometimes brutally, but more often silently– hundreds of times. This used to bother me greatly. I was impatient. I took everything personally. I compared myself to others who seemed like they were doing better. It wasn’t until I started reaching out to strangers that I realized rejection is the signal that you’re doing it right– putting yourself out there is like breathing the rare air up there that most people choose to avoid.
I know that swimming is one of the quickest ways to freeze time and get yourself into the present moment.
I know that overtime your closest relationships– especially romantic partners can revolve mostly around logistics… ‘What time is this thing,’ ‘How was your day,’ ‘Can you pick up so and so at 10am’ etc. Try as much as you can to ask questions that help you continue to really get to know the person you’re sharing your space and life with. I sometimes forget this, but when I remember, some of the best moments for connection open up.
I know that you can get a surprising amount of things done in just two hours so if you’re not feeling motivated, try to get as much done as you can in that time and then let yourself to do whatever the hell you want.
I know that you can become an expert about something just by being the person who cares the most about it.
I know that most relationships don’t die in a big blow out, they starve to death because we don’t invest in them. This is okay except for when it’s not… Being intentional about the people you want to keep around is one of the best long-term investments you can make.
I know that being pregnant is fucking crazy and no one talks about this enough. Every day is different… Your belly button as you know it disappears slowly before your eyes. All of the sudden your body is not just yours anymore. This juxtaposition of stunning and terrifying is impossible to explain.
I know that people and process is the thing to really go after. Who you work with and the way you work is always way more interesting than the work itself.
I know that being an artist early in your 20s is way harder than any other time simply because you don’t feel the need to explain yourself to family members who don’t understand you when you’re trying to understand yourself at the same time.
This is the best homemade cookie recipe. I know that for a FACT. I also know that if you love a funfetti as much as you love a good chocolate chip you can split the batter at the end into two separate bowls you can dump the chips in one and sprinkles in the other. Make these even when you don’t have a reason to and keep them in the freezer so that when someone comes over or you’re really craving a homemade dessert, all you have to do is pop them in the oven.
I know that real loneliness comes from being unable to communicate something that seems important. The best way I’ve found to get through this is to sit down and write.
I know that people who request you to tell a joke are the worst… They are setting you up for failure because these kinds of jokes are never that funny. Do not tell a joke and do not trust these people.
I know that it's much more fun to be around people who are dreaming and doing things rather than people that judge or talk about what other people are dreaming or doing. Finding and surrounding yourself with these people is easier than it seems because they want to be found. People who have personal websites are a good place to start.
I find it literally impossible to do tasks like returning something. If you are like this too, I know that it’s a very good idea to marry someone who doesn’t mind it.
I know that if you’re not naturally into sports and want to be, don’t learn about the game first. Learn about the players. Learn about their families and their histories… Stories will help you feel connected to these people and overtime you might actually enjoy watching them. It’s amazing how many times my brothers tried to explain to me how football works without me caring. Then I watch the Quarterback show on Netflix and all the sudden I’m wondering what's going on with Kirk and Julie Cousins… What the hell.
I know exercising with the goal of feeling better after is going to get you the best and most consistent results.
I know that it's really good to have people in your close network who are not the same age as you. Having a couple of close connections who are ~5 years your senior and ~5 your junior is one of the best investments you can make… It will help you remember both how little and how much you know.
This format is entirely stolen from
who knows twice as many things as I know. Sasha stole it from who knows twice as many things as he knows.Together, all three of us know 175 things…
This is a super insightful list! I love your cold email strategy - and enjoy reading about how you reach out to people to connect.
Although #7 hit close to home 😂. I always say "I hope you're well".
"I know that you can get a surprising amount of things done in just two hours so if you’re not feeling motivated, try to get as much done as you can in that time and then let yourself to do whatever the hell you want."
Needed to hear this today. My kind of self-improvement wisdom allows for motivation and grace