Today I write from a place of deep uncertainty guys.
The problem is that I don’t know what I want.
I have what
calls insufficient activation energy, where I’m in a little bog and I can’t get out no matter how much I want to. Ugh!I’m trying everything to get myself unstuck. I’m meditating (I like
’s 15 min NSDR on YouTube). I’m listening to inspiring podcasts (really into Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso). I’m taking beautiful walks with beautiful views. I’m eating huge vitamins!!But the more I do, the more I feel like I’m exacerbating the problem, because I’m all alone in this little bog.
If only I knew exactly what I wanted.
Not that it’s easy to get what you want. It is hard to get what you want.
But it is impossible to get what you want when you don’t know what you want.
is a wise and successful woman and even she says, “It is so hard to know what you want. I'm still trying to figure that out. And honestly it’s hard to network when you’re in this state because everyone is lost in their own way, right? Even those who appear to be most successful are just sort of going through life trying to understand what's next and not screw it all up.”I agree– it is really hard to network when you’re in this state, but it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Vulnerable as it is, the best possible time to reach out might actually be when you’re completely fucking lost.
Because the truth is, we really don’t get anywhere meaningful alone. And we certainly don’t get out of the little bog alone. Maybe, actually, we fall into the little bog in the first place because we feel disconnected— either from ourselves or from others or both.
But movement and motivation comes from other people not huge vitamins. Good ideas happen when you’re out in the world, talking to people, asking for help, reaching out. Plus you never know what response you might get.
So I decided to reach out to Lisa Carmen Wang, a hall of fam gymnast turned serial entrepreneur who went to Yale. Seemingly very successful at everything she’s tried. Plus I was inspired by a short essay she wrote:
Who am I?
This is a question I’ve asked myself throughout my life, and I’m always amazed at how the answer continues to evolve.
For the longest time, I believed I had to have one clear answer, a tweet-able one liner.I am an entrepreneur.
I am an athlete.
I am an investor.Indeed, modern society tells us, we must fit our identities into clean labels...
“Focus on one niche,” they say. “It’s good for business.”However, the result of trying to squeeze myself into a neatly labeled box left me feeling woefully inadequate...
Because the moment I labeled myself one thing, another part of me immediately yearned to be something else.
‘Why can’t I be this AND that?’ I wondered, and reluctantly shut down the dreamer in me for the “practical” choice.
As it turns out, the practical choice rarely provides the long term fulfillment that the explorers, creatives, entrepreneurs, and builders among us crave.
It goes on…
The point is, I thought this would be a great person to reach out to. Except what do you say to someone you don’t know at all, but want to learn from? How do you ask the right question without sounding like a fool? How can you open the door for a cool connection when you feel insecure?