Unfortunately this is the real networking secret

3 eggs per day.

There's this guy on instagram with such a crazy Italian name it has to be fake. He posts a LOT and every time I see one I feel kinda shitty, but since I’m used to feeling shitty on instagram, I continue to follow him. He’s always posting the silver bullet to become the new and better version of yourself in 10 seconds. 

Something sick in me kind of loves it even while I’m actively hating it. He’s so confident, he states things so plainly and obviously.

He’s a doctor. Doctor DiNicolantonio.

It’s almost as if I’m waiting for him to drop the infographic that changes my life. I just have to be patient. Except I’ve been waiting for months and somehow none of them have moved me to make any kind of change. They all look like this:

If I’m very honest with myself, I know that I will never be the kind of person that makes 3 eggs every morning. I know that because this is one of those deceiving kinds of things because it is disguised as simple when it’s actually not. 

But I do wish I could write this way sometimes. If only I was a fake Italian doctor, then I’d be able to give you this kind of silver bullet to networking. 

I’d give you the oversimplified list of steps to making a genuine connection, getting the right job, meeting a truly good friend who you can be totally yourself with.

I’d tell you how to make your network unrecognizable:

• Find someone you want to connect with

• Get their email or find a way to reach them on social media

• Think about what you want to say 

• Write it down

• Send it

• Keep track of it in a spreadsheet

• 3 eggs per day

• Repeat

All you have to do is execute.

See? So easy. 

Except you know just as well as I do that just underneath this bullet point list lies a kind of emotional pain you can’t grasp or see, but you can feel. 

It’s the same kind of pain you get when your boss asks you if you have 5 mins to talk. Or like that 30 seconds when your legs are dangling off the side of the pool before you jump in. Or like going to USPS for anything ever.

Reaching out is annoyingly simple. But it is also devastatingly complicated. 

Unfortunately there is no silver bullet. The real secret is learning to work with the discomfort of putting yourself out there.

The real list looks like this:

How to prioritize networking, even when you are not motivated to do it, have anxiety about it, and are deeply insecure.

• Understand you have two choices: take the 15 minutes to reach out to someone, or spend days obsessing over whether you should.

• Realize that being rejected by someone isn’t worse than them not knowing you exist. By not reaching out, a lack of connection is already happening.

• Consider that most forms of outreach are spammy and annoying. Very few people are receiving thoughtful emails with an earnest attempt to make a connection. If you are attempting this, it is a gift. You’ve already won.

• Remember the realist in you. It’s just an email. You are just sending an email. Nobody will remember this in 100 years.

• Remember the optimist in you. Reaching out is a brave act. Do it enough times and you’ll happen on a connection that changes your life. Somebody might remember this in 100 years.

reach out.